silence, creating thought

I stare into the evening sky
The glittering twinkle of an eternal eye
I stand alone, a choice of will
With an empty space in my chest to fill
You seldom forget mistakes once made
The pain slowly passing yet hard to fade
I enjoy this time alone and free
World peace and harmony surround me
After a time such troubles pass away
Becoming expressive without words to say
Time passing quickly, one must go back
The understanding drifts towards the black
Facing the jury of your fears
The feeling of control now a stream of tears
The truth is revealed and the emptiness lost
A few lonely and silent nights the only cost

shortfall

I elevate my life towards you
Ensnared by fear and doubt
I embrace my own empathy
The sky looms far above
I fall from my nest, restless
Wings without the air of thought
I envision flight but for another
Myself no longer pure
Born into weakness and bred by desire
How do I fly? I am not yet a bird

life

Leftover love
Imagined hopes
False beliefs
Eternal hell

resurrection syndrome

No not again this return has too much substance
The reasonableness oppresses me and disturbs the ease
I fear to know what I have known
To recollect the girth burdens this ox
Blind sight over blindness, that tinged of understanding
A faint trickle of the possible but no solidity
I fear the harvest with my yoke swollen shoulders
The plantings long forgotten and trampled… emerging
What causes them this return?
A few tears shed in winter can hold no such strength
A slight rest on the earth can offer no real warmth
The seeds able to fend me off
It seems the choice has gone beyond myself
The seedlings have me now

precious

A predetermined love
A predestined loss
A preternatural experience
Yourself

poor

Today inside I longed for the ride
Away from what corrupts with pesticide
This pain in which I seem to abide
Awake, the time when I can’t seem to hide
Swift is the air that rushes without care
Healing the stench of rot that’s everywhere
So fast the cure for vacancy of stare
While the signs of the times scream “beware”
The drive is long to which I strive
The dreamy wait for the time it will arrive
Swarming thoughts that seem to be alive
Asleep inside the heart of the beehive
The end ensues so swift to amend
The cure for hurt is surly to descend

perspectives

I never met a girl as lovely as you
When I first saw you I felt this true
It was first a look that turned a stare
And a thought that perhaps this girl will care
Treating you like a game of hide and seek
Without attempting to look, refusing to peek
Why couldn't you tell me your feelings were none?
That what I thought started had never begun
My heart has begun to crumble and break
I feel a fool who fell for a fake
Consumed with desire I blotted out
What it was you cared most about
I am sorry Kathy for this mistake
I realize now you hold a love that won’t break
Have a lovely life, work without worry
Any trouble I have caused I am truthfully sorry

in sight

A portal has just broken
A sight is left to see
A dream has gently spoken
Kindly words to me
A slight crack of sunshine
Dances on the day
Entrancing me with love
That words may never say
I sit in its shadow
Like the earth on a moonlit night
I remain in the shallow
For its depths are far to bright
What realm of glory
This portal must open
For I feel so desperate
For the rest to fall broken

in grained

Me spying myself
Through the circle of would
The cyclical graining
Embracing years spent idle
I see
What me could be
If I woodn’t

i wonder

Splash!
The herds of condemned rodents damn themselves to certain fate
One leap on faith and legend
Do they know something I don’t?
Splash!!!!

i strain

I can’t accept your empty smile
I hold in hand my hopes denial
Enjoy the look of longings depths
Run the path of baby steps
“Just a man” is what I quote
as I wallow in the castled mote
The walls slick, the gate tight
The mud so thick it conceals all light
To escape… I can’t seem to find the time
Nor even the vision of the blind
I seem to quit what I did not start
While continuing to burden my laden cart
I cannot accept your smile sir
Your own thoughts just won’t register

fester

Decaying flesh with rotting bone
This traitor that never learns
A holocaust of trillions
Senseless yet somehow beautiful
This yearly irony, a lifelong enigma
Small, large, fat, skinny…they die
Heaps of their bodies pollute the landscape
Cursed world!
I stroll through the ranks of the dead
Pondering their opaque atrocity
Realizing…I shall never understand

feel me

Behaviors shift
The assembly line of emotions
End over end, frightening, relaxing, intriguing
Virtues possess less than meaning
A tyrant guide to paranoid life
polluted water leading astray devotion
A ripple, a causal effect of betrayal
And the line tumbles end over …

farming

Confined to an eggshell
Boiled hard in the harsh environment
I crack!!!
To leave my shell leaves me open to hungry predators
The salty stalkers and fire starters
The driving force behind my hardness
Hawking hands streaking for my yoke
So scantily clad in its milky white purity
The tasty target of all scavengers
Feeding off the flavor of sweetness
Basted bitter with desire
A clear-cut case of confusing the chicken
With the egg

high way

Today’s yet another trial of mind
Will I accept the things that I find?
Will I fight the desire to still?
Or strengthen the hardness of a weakened will?
The day then the night and more to come
The dark and the light containing no sun
Focused on the road hypnosis sets in
I forget the fact of my driving
To what or to where it seems i see
But hypnosis can be so very tricky
We see what we want in these paved streets
Now ridden to death by marching feet
Trodden to hell and then back to earth
Risen from death and spoken at birth
A cycle, a wheel, a sentence so dry
Just before it’s spoken the speaker must die

eye see

I looked crookedly into cracked glass
Framed in browed eyes
Shattered with melancholy
The image seemed too cryptic to discern
So somewhat savagely
I blanketed the view
Opening the medicine cabinet

envoked

Final thoughts on lying dogs
Faintly sleeping in the thick of fogs
Howls low on slumbers leash
Turning over in silences sleep
Who awakens these beasts at rest?
Raising fangs to bare chests
Letting loose peaceful thought
Grasping on to that which is not
Who would be bold to brandish a blade?
Facing the face that anger has made

compliance

First stop landing zone
Entrance hot can’t go home
Fire light, comrades down
Gunshots buzzing round
Can’t feel my thoughts worth
Still lost inside
Following my own rebirth
Deeper into the eye
Glancing back, only space
We’re left behind heavens gate
Moving quick to the dark
As day begins to fall apart
Where can the dreams be
When the sleep has gone?
Who can wish to save me
When it’s all so wrong?
Stopped inside the panic
One finds no space in the attic
Last stand in the cellar
The fear release the killer

cleaner

A splatter of disaster
can turn much faster
With a sprinkle of love

window

It began with a smirk
Turned to a grin
A darkish red to the color of skin
Then a dawning of sorts
Appeared in the eyes
A stiffness relaxed
By the slightest of sighs
A looseness ensued
Causing the shoulders to sink
Then an insight appeared on which she could think
And just at that moment
Where everything makes sense
Her boss screamed her name
And she began to tense

whats wrong with this world?

Within twenty years times have changed
The life we lived rearranged
How have we become such ignorant fools?
Rejecting our gods, we rusting tools
Lets stop and think about our lives
Things much worse as our faith dies
The reason we live in the back of our minds
Locked deep within where nobody finds
Think ahead for life is so, so short
Eternity our future, life our court
We alone decide the future beyond
Do we want me or our god?
Earth as our judgment, rise or fall here
Choose awe to bring yourself near
Deny yourself nothing but tears
Free your soul for the end is real

we two

Tall and lean, strong to boot
Full of love for life’s pursuits
Longing for an unbridled Soul
To epitomize his final goal
Perfect peace in beauties bed
Resting thought in his wizened head
Growing plump on pure peace
Losing all sense of disease
Infecting his frame, a termites home
Never noticing that they had come
They say a watched pot never boils
That nothings gained lest one toils
Then how is love fit for man?
Who strives and strives and strives again
To hold to something far to hot
Reaching for a thing that cannot be got
I’ve heard love is a many splendored thing
But isn’t love what you bring
Not a sensation but somewhat more
A remedy of sorts for dis-eases cure
Maybe love is more than we can know
Forced to accept its ebb and flow
Rejecting ones strength, wisdom and state
Face to face challenging fate
Two as one distinct by choice
Doubled in mind, body and voice
Separate for always, together to stay
Experiencing each other anew everyday
How is it we know yet fail to do
Not accepting that separate but equal is true
So we strangle ourselves within the threads
Intricately woven strands of dread
Stifling growth we see as deceit
Entering the cycle we are forced to repeat
Pouring water to stop the burn
What was once basked in now we spurn
All in response to the loss of control
Of two persons minds placed into their souls

waking

Peace of mind is what I seek
Smashing steel and burning through glass
Molding and shaping…forming
Loss of mind is what I speak
The rights of silence and corruption

visions

Silence
A chance to remember
A hollow log full of life
Perceptions redirected into discovery
Focus revealing splendor and suspense
Microscopic memories, echoed enticements

unfulfilled

Welling up inside, the rising tide
The past that never died
Why this remembering
Again and again and again
When will it be over…. when?
Fantastical memories of love covered in blood
Why must I confront this flood?
The angers gone or am I wrong
How can this pain last so long?
I know trust is broke
Fate has spoken
All the beauty love held ..stolen
I love in remembrance as if in a trance
Far to frightened to return a glance
I speak of evil
Little chance for retrieval
Held between teeth clenched resentful
This living lie, facing life without “I”
Laying down to a nightmare lullaby
Effecting me with pangs of jealousy
This fruitless mess spelled society
I push forward always on my guard
Confronting mirrors that stare so hard
Dear god release, I pray
Endless day
Cleanse the past clear away
I feel so certain to draw this curtain
While each attempt leaves me smitten
Let it be said!
Lie with the dead
This unknown soldier inside my head
Pass over this man
Be gone if it can
Take away my crutch so that I may stand
Leave not a doubt
Not the faintest pout
Offer the buried its way out
Burn this heart
Tear the arteries apart
Before I find this self returned to the start
Murder me quick do not let me slip
The clawing clenching iron grip
Love is no longer anger is stronger
Finish me off, draw the dagger

uncomprehending understanding

I thrive on confusion and your love
Weak in my present state
Ignorance pleases your stale heart
My pain the fluid of your veins
Released guilt caught in my reflection
Loneliness my stigmata, love my cross
This fools solid heart burns strong
Flying into open skies with his legs anchored
Faces, hearts and souls roam free
But this fools heart to blind to see

typical

As I sip my daily Snapple
Words erupt
Peering at trash and thinking
Of chipmunks
I write
How I feel accomplished is anyone’s guess
How accomplished I am…a guess!

twogether

I must defy what is myself
If only I can stand
The face of change belies stealth
It only reprimands
The target zone is my soul
The center of the stage
The likely home is in the whole
Empty yet full of rage
So in respect and ceaselessness
True care must be leant
To dissect what is useless
That I might be content
Together then let us face the eye
The flurry of the foe
Again and again to deny
That he was ever so

trick or treat

Fruit flies desecrate a sheep’s berry stained hind
While 54 rats feast on the dead fruit flies bodies
For the sheep sworn enemies of the flies
Had learned a deadly new secret
About poison berries

trial by conscience

Betrayed…. I wait
Silence surrounds this crypt
Missed opportunities or dodged chances?
Foolish youth!
I a bastard of this cruel hard world
A slate as broken as my dreams
To take my chances means to close the last door
The door to my cell

total ruin

People walk the streets all day
Never realizing what they say
The days tick by and out they come
Merely little and white say some
That’s good stick lie upon lie
What’s to happen on the next try?
Payment comes for each passing whim
Calling you out to face them
Slowly fading you lose all good
Replaced by your lie filled hood
You see before you your life run away
Thinking quickly another lie comes to stay
It works and your world returns
Yet deep within something burns
The pain is real and you’ll feel it some day
Perhaps not here yet somewhere some way
You will face the face that speaks so ill
Seeing yourself and the filth you spill

to my smiling epitaph

Dreams the pillars of my life
Left silent and forgotten
Till sleep rise again
Waking to my silent thought
ideas rational in kind arise
Friendship and peace!
Words of joy not sultry silent pain
Wonder in my soul
A land before time, a thought before mine
A dream of potent flavor
Our world and all its horrors

timing

The phone call that never arrived
A dream that so long ago died
A matter of import, it means the world to me
But I just cannot be bothered to see
All the truth in this world on my side
Spent loving she who openly lied
Three days thus far I have waited
It appears her idea of open is tainted
What can I do when her part falls through?
Whom can I turn to and what can they do?
With words not actions she has reigned supreme
What her reasoning, it is not seen
Why tell me so much and give so little
While I she claims to love am stuck in the middle
I am a fool giving myself up to peril
When I open my heart to cold caring carol

thoughts

Alone again
scared of my shadow self…life
Ideas! Startled by thought
I write to hide….escape
To listen is certain hell. Never
Wishes…wishes..Dreams
Need I continue? Of course
I must! To stand by and..
To move and…then to want to…
…a mistake… I CAN not!
Must write! Must avoid…!
Can’t..won’t
…I have..

theorized

Does no one see that life shall end?
That what we possess cannot defend
Who can challenge this fate?
In the first moment we are to late
Science shall not preserve a soul
With chemical compounds in a mixing bowl
Can sight be blinded by drugs so simply?
Truth forgotten as mere mystery?
God taken as a possible outcome
Yet less likely as evolution
What wine is this diluting the wit?
This hostile enemy of the human spirit
Perfect humans like perfect jewels
Beautiful things though merely tools
Unity of love shall create our equality
Science can often confuse our reality

the story

I meet your gaze it must be my eyes
I stare to see beyond your beauty
I search your being and meet love
I cannot escape as the grasp tightens
I will not fight it I want this
I see beyond the superficial
I see faith and morals
I see beyond beauty
I see fun and possibilities
I see beyond you it’s my reflection
I see a dream I want so badly
I see a love, only I hold the key

the queen

A slide from one position to “other”
Years dedicated and hours served
My mind, my escape, my control
Sometimes a trifle cup of idle talk
Others a hot plate and spicy side
A “that” place away from life
Yet lively with the living
Maybe more of a symbol
Like Stonewall Jackson’s monument
Stable, sturdy, secure
A reminder of the past
A redeemer for my future
Four walled asylum
No glitter, no glamour, just glide

the pounding

Elastic thought stretched to commonsense
Snapping impulsively back by natural reaction
A twanging alertness confessing unrest
Slapping confusion into bedlam
Redefining sickness with a cool composure
A sick day for school
A missed calculation
Waylaid by a desperate urge to rest

the olding

I beckon to the past where thou be
Rest in peace and complacency
Do not speeaketh thy resounding chorus
That it may discover one so porous
I pray I may beseech thy favor
That I may forge through the past unwavered
Relinquish my garb now worn and battered
To cover the panes that have been shattered
Seeking salvation in the mirth reborn
Wishing thee nigh hurt nor scorn
Patience pray my soul uncover
Finding within love for another
May merriment infest my nights
While silent peace holdeth my sight
Releasing cruel resentments to the sky
That joy may be present to you and I

the expanse

Asleep I dream of reality
Suffocating evil and refurbishing peace
Never a loser.. King for hours
I create sanity and I can kill
No morals here, no rules
Afraid of nothing and no one
No god, no black scar on society
Pure hell! Fear and death
Mans heartless dream
A silent existence

the diner

A cup of coffee boiling with gossip
Steamy and so very hot
Lies with thick gravy on the side
A warm discussion…a heated debate
A heavenly glance at earthly lust
A few tears for all the laughs
A heavy trip for those who can’t walk
A light head for those few conscious
A typical time for those alive

crystal love

The sun shines through crystal love
Blinding sight and silencing thought
All on a whim
Eyes dazzled by a beauty uncomprehended
The passage of time a slow close
the crystal love fades
Now eclipsed the crystal blackens

sucsex

Unconscious mind and molecular mass
Secreted love and poised retreat
Disciplined criticisms
A protective hand yet a loveless guide
Cleansing the dangers of the path inside
A rollercoaster ride all downhill
The moment now over two forms lie still
Forgotten respect and the devils hand shaken
A “mans” goal complete another virgin now taken

station

I watch as the world moves
I watch as time chimes on
I watch as people change
I watch as loves are lost
I watch as tears are shrouded
I watch as walls are built
I watch…

spoken out

Static
The mind numbs
Dumb restraint on stale belief
Helplessness on the fetal faces
As if all pure and festive
What entropy is this?
Enticing me to stillness
Opaque in thought
Dry in tone
Hard in structure
Frightening in newness
The school ties binding

speech... impediment

The silence as the talking died
Left in want of my lips to hide
It seemed so long without a word
While it seems now so quite absurd
What need have I for nameless jibing?
Tactical speech full of casual lying
And still, nothing is learned by the endless sounds
Although something stirs and the stirring resounds
It’s not about speech but it is the conductor
Surrounded by fools and with them the suckers
Who believe in the wall and not what’s behind it
Who lurk behind shut eyes as if blinded
Why can’t the speaking stop its distraction?
The speech through its words chances chain reaction
This response is how truth is resembled
These words need only spark to kindle
The truth is we just want to mingle
Afraid near to death in life to be single

socialites

Simple computer chip slabs
Placed in their “proper” locale
When they deemed it logical
To situate themselves elsewhere
Keeping their temperatures steady
Now withdrawn and stationed alphabetically
Verbatim wishes rejected
Some crumble
Others defuse
Yet all are crushed
In the plunge
From freedom to conformity

sliver

Lights turned to nightlights
Small samples of daytime
Remedial reminders
A sort of reminiscence of white
Not as splendid or lively
Not empty or void
Simply… slightly…. stained with silence

slightly self-ish

I want a love to hold me down
Crush my hands with pure resound
To rush death on timely lines
To find faith in ridiculous rhymes
One who sings softly
So I cannot understand
Why the fuck did I give her my hand?
To slap the shit from my lips
And get stuck beneath my fingertips
Not to slow my stilled heart
But to help this fucking retard
To make it through one more day
By getting in my fucking way
So I won’t die so damn swiftly
And find the time to fill my empty

situation

Loss assaults with vigilance
Private in its affairs
Longing patient
Intent like fire on fuel
All consuming
Tender for the touch
Splendid in intricacy
The cock crows
Echoing always
Resounding
Pounding
It becomes breath
Constant and forgotten
One with
We are all longing
Stretched extension
Sorrow full

silence, creating thought

I stare into the evening sky
The glittering twinkle of an eternal eye
I stand alone, a choice of will
With an empty space in my chest to fill
You seldom forget mistakes once made
The pain slowly passing yet hard to fade
I enjoy this time alone and free
World peace and harmony surround me
After a time such troubles pass away
Becoming expressive without words to say
Time passing quickly, one must go back
The understanding drifts towards the black
Facing the jury of your fears
The feeling of control now a stream of tears
The truth is revealed and the emptiness lost
A few lonely and silent nights the only cost

shortfall

I elevate my life towards you
Ensnared by fear and doubt
I embrace my own empathy
The sky looms far above
I fall from my nest, restless
Wings without the air of thought
I envision flight but for another
Myself no longer pure
Born into weakness and bred by desire
How do I fly? I am not yet a bird

life

Leftover love
Imagined hopes
False beliefs
Eternal hell

self-explanatory

You blame death on life
You believe in disbelief
Catch up to yourself
You’re living for dying

school soup

Mental meltdown on delay
Overtime taking its toll
Lapping up peoples views
Of everything I understood~!

riddled

I am alive
Or so I am told
I wonder why?
I hear the fables of society
I see the illusions of the populous
I want only to understand, to know!
I am alone
I pretend to exist in this world of whims
I feel the anger of the unknown
I touch the air, the nimbus of life
In a reassuring gesture
I worry for my sanity
I cry to that chameleon like unknown
I am insane!
I understand only that I am confused
I say this in mockery of truth
I dream and I feel so wanted, so alive
I try to keep these visions to no avail
I hope someone finds me in this pit
For I am dying

revelers

Mark my words oh marred mirth makers
Vacuum voids, android armies
Lie to keep it true
And die to what is you
Find the ghost inside
For the host has all but dried
Live your sleep and dream it all away
The resentment of your slumber rests sweetly on fluff and air
Buoyant in the vacuum
Maintained like your pubic hair
Bothersome but “boy do they buy it!”
It’s all-good!
The masochism of the mind
The coldness in my chest
Warm as two bottles of southern comfort
And a few more to kill the hangover

rails

A coal train racing wildly to wherever
The next bend a new view
Smoke screens and blurs options
Regenerating vigor through self-destruction
Unloading its own black life into iron cages
The fire is its salvation
One shovel at a time it betrays itself
It contains its own life in car after car
Yet feeding the fire leads it outward into the “future”
A true oxymoron
Juxtaposition to life!

prioritize

Lets rationalize
Come on you cow praising chumps
Lets feed the hungry beaver
Hey you…in the cardboard!
Lets clothe the sheep and burp the hippos
Oh! And tame the wild boar
Please Mr. president take my self-defense away
I would rather be stabbed to death than shot anyway
Send me next I want to die
Feeding other countries money
What a job!

peopled

Silent
You hear the call of the norm
The lucky infinite number of love thirsty slugs
Bulbous abstract beasts
With little salt on their tongues
Flopping their eroded corpses around
And then SPLAT…. I SPEAK!!!

pastling

No not again this return has too much substance
The reasonableness oppresses me and disturbs the ease
I fear to know what I have known
To recollect the girth burdens this ox
Blind-sight over blindness, that tinged of understanding
A faint trickle of the possible but no solidity
I fear the harvest with my yoke swollen shoulders
The plantings long forgotten and trampled… emerging
What causes them this return?
A few tears shed in winter can hold no such strength
A slight rest on the earth can offer no real warmth
The seeds able to fend me off
It seems the choice has gone beyond myself
The seedlings have me now

paranormal

I rise above time into the realm of reality
Oblivious to the plethora of opinions
The fear factory contained
Life can now begin

paper bag

Anhydrous yet putrid fossils
Conform into a confounding organism
To all eyes it is alive
Yet to open minds it yields no shape
A delirious absurdity designed by minute intellects
An urge to be wanted
Society

opened

I appreciate your kind regard
Your gentle touch catching me off guard
Kindly words spoken with charm
Your soft hands holding onto my arm
The food that filled my belly all day
Reminding me of your pleasant stay
The kisses that began melting my doubts
The touch that made my goose bumps pop out
The feel inside of a heart growing sizes
The thoughts of a mind flying over horizons
Your smile drawing my lips towards yours
The release of feeling from locked doors
I appreciate our time regardless how short
I enjoy your mind and your escort
I admire your manner and gentle concern
I thank you for listening and a chance to learn
The short period of time that we shared with each other
Filled me as much as the love a of a mother

one phone call

I sit at home saddened, alone
Waiting for a miracle, a ringing phone
A voice speaks it burns my ears
The love I feel leads to tears
I prayed, dreamt this day would be
She’s not all things but still too much for me
Laughing sweetly so my lips melt away
Smiling so deeply it surely must stay
I am far to lucky, this woman so grand
One phone call and I can hardly stand

oh my goodness?!

Is it a simple slip?
The reparation for some minor insult or injury?
It must be more
But “my goodness” …it isn’t
It is lip service to Mary Kay mascots and the Willy Wonka's of the world
Now mix it with intentions
Those things we leave for tomorrow
The perfection complex of completeness
The things we do not do and find fulfillment in
A saying against a meaning

notions

I cannot believe what I have done
I was lost in fear, true love shun
Left the joy in the dark of my mind
Forgetting myself in life’s heartless kind
The pain left swelling to a breaking
Now facing my love outside the faking
Breaking bonds to save this heart
Praying for better in this new start
Changed guilt towards reason not shame
Her love the spark enlisting my flame
My life may not be complete forever
This last thing to do, a never-ending endeavor

nimbus

Your warm eyes upon me
A gentle hello for only my ears
A delicate hand in mine
A smile to comfort when low
A healing for the troubles
An eternal love breaking death

my strength?

I grow in body, yet inside shrive
the pain I feel it must be evil
How can one man suffer so much?
I dream of her whom I cannot touch
I weaken each day as my heart cries
As my worthless attempts at affection die
With my soul I could charm a goddess
Yet with my body I fall so helpless
I distract myself from her radiance
Yet while I sleep I have no chance
Dreaming of her wishing sleep lasted indefinitely
Waking to find the only one in the room is me
One glimpse of her lifts my head
My strength in her, if I lose her I am shed
What can I do? To forget is to suffer
Once I reach her she’s mine forever

momentary

It begins continuing
Breath lunge, purging pleasant
A narrowing dive into depth
Surfacing centered and satisfied
Bloomed vision budding
Stilled steady and road in motion
Momentum vertical renouncing rotation
Starlit and sun stroked, wandering galactic
Earthling extinct now a universe breed!

missing

The rising tide so hard to hide
Lasting love still abides
Tasteless bliss of swollen lips
Lying helpless in its emptiness
Cold and numbed by the sum
Of living life within someone
Now spirit self has gone in stealth
Leaving the vault of its wealth
Far removed it seems less crude
Understanding the misunderstood
To complete the cycle I become insightful
Finding the love I had beautiful
I trusted my offer “together to prosper”
“To love each other ever after”
I release my grudge for I was smug
To blame our hearts for their love
My only reflection, my last confession
Can you return the piece in question?

mindkind

A vacant stare beyond notice even for its officer
Yearning in depths accentuated by distance
A reverberation of hope drifting stoically along
This haphazard meditation demonstrating love
A shortening of eternity, a mirror of humanity
A figure of grandeur exposing its craftsmanship
The artist becoming, the art arriving, this colliding
The horizon demonstrating galactic dimensions
The stepping-stone stood upon the pinnacle
The colossal collapsed, leveled reasonable
Beyond the barrier we begin
Before this me I begin to see
Outside the given the received
Inside this being the perceived

mares

Dead, I feel so false
Am I dead? I can hardly write
My ancient language as foreign as my tongue
Awake…I think
But I am still dead…walking dead
Faceless death… typical dead
So ungratefully
For I want to live!
Wishing that there were words for…

man-a-kin

If ignorance is bliss
Why am I so alone, so vague?
Like a half-truth told to love
Reflecting the emptiness of the claim
Striving to be decent
In deceit
Trying to overcome desire
In the land of milk and honey
Where is my joy
when there is no one to be good to?
No one who is open to love
They run from it like cats do dogs
Lustily lifeless and languid
This lifeless live lost land of lavishness
Save me some ONE happy, whole human

man-ipulates

Iron lies loosed upon stonewalls
Strong foundations hold as walls collapse
Devoured by a “caterpillar” armada
Small ideas backed by large dreams and fat toads
Who spread their infectious warts on unwary prey
The envious justice lies on the fire
Giving of a faint light
Guiding the foundations raising

lingo

What is subtle?
It appears nothing more than a weak ineptitude
A half-baked rationalization
of what truth entails
A fragmented fiction
Incomplete from intro to conclusion
Why do we complicate the complex with fashionable fanfare?
Perhaps our fragile egos cannot bare the risks of truth
This world so beat and thus shaded
A weeping willow unaware of its own tears
Thanks to silent subtleness

life's little gifts

The languid organ of life
Filled with inferior and putrid frog legs
Cursed with death and plagued rancid
Oral, anal, animal, self, same, real!
A black spot
A swift license to death

lasting

I am alone
From dark till light
The time so meaningless
It’s not about the dull or bright
Only the endless

language

Words to comfort those in pain…healing wounds
Words to help others learn…to explain
Words to bring friends close…like lovers
Words a reality universal…as the atom
Words containing others sorrow…to understand

keep freedom reigned

The poor grow hungry and the starving die
Economic reform but a fruitless lie
The criminals clog the “systems” cogs
Our justice policies mingle with the dogs
Police out of faith as corruption reigns
The government sends troops to “protect” our “friends”
America the beautiful more attractive to some
The Natives lost the land they came from
We the people of the divided states
Left by the roadside resigned to our fate
The infrastructure of lives and dreams
Heading for the borders, rowing up stream
Our forefathers came and died for this land
They provided us life with little demands
Now it is lost as freedom is reigned
The only question left is who has gained?

it matters

Lets be sick and eat human love
Squeeze out its desires
Twist and tear the deep emotions free
Laugh at the tears
Crush under foot the foul remnants
Confidence and concern
Smote a mighty fist in the mouth of second chances and feelings
Spit out the phlegm of subconscious thought
Leave only the heart to beat
Its aimless pumps the pains of life

free-dumb

Splash!
The herds of condemned rodents damn themselves to certain fate
One leap on faith and legend
Do they know something I don’t?
Splash!!!!1

hunt

Like poorly manufactured wax
Melting into obscurity with the first taste of flame
There lies, the core of society
The heathen hopeless
Grasping at icicle dreams in the summer salvation
The quick wit no shits
Always looking for happiness so far from it
The microwavable sog-savorers
Endlessly unsatisfied
Reminiscent of vampire wonder lust
The unquenchable unattainable possessive blood hunt
Hardly a choice required
This Pavlovian parasitic panorama of patheticness
A ritualistic pseudo voodoo
The growing plague of human crack rocks

grind

Lost in a jungle
Held by desires vines
Clawing, clutching, killing
Sinking in quick-planned
Sucking, stealing, starving
Lost…. afraid

galactic

Rest to calm what comes along
The gigantic has fallen
The now is how it must be delved
The gorging is vomiting up
Rest the stress if only for hope
Calm must compose the decisions
Too much is self described
Sleuthing the sludge is tiring
Rest reside inside for now
Embrace the order and hold
Kiss this away to believe
I am much too much for me
Rest and trust the silence
The center provides the gravity
Spirit ensnare my self-depravity
See that I am vastness

fester

Decaying flesh with rotting bone
This traitor that never learns
A holocaust of trillions
Senseless yet somehow beautiful
This yearly irony, a lifelong enigma
Small, large, fat, skinny…they die
Heaps of their bodies pollute the landscape
Cursed world!
I stroll through the ranks of the dead
Pondering their opaque atrocity
Realizing…I shall never understand

feel me

Behaviors shift
The assembly line of emotions
End over end, frightening, relaxing, intriguing
Virtues possess less than meaning
A tyrant guide to paranoid life
Repugnant water leading astray devotion
A ripple, a causal effect of betrayal
And the line tumbles end over …

farming

Confined to an eggshell
Boiled hard in the harsh environment
I crack!!!
To leave my shell leaves me open to hungry predators
The salty stalkers and fire starters
The driving force behind my hardness
Hawking hands streaking for my yoke
So scantily clad in its milky white purity
The tasty target of all scavengers
Feeding off the flavor of sweetness
Basted bitter with desire
A clear-cut case of confusing the chicken
With the egg

excuse ME

I wish I were in love
To fill this empty cup
I need to be loved
To feel good is not enough
I long to share joy
One cannot do it alone
I live to love you
If only you had known

emotive

A growing sensation
A desperate urge
A human manifestation
A body to purge
Two together, one idea
So hard to sever the love they share
Safe for now together as one
Living in love tightly spun
Sweet lies whispered
Meant at the time
Then he disappeared
Now she’s mine

double jeopardy

Causing alarms to blare
Stalking prey for comprehension
Burning buildings as signals
Iron bars
and their twisted souls
mingled

don't -mind- me!

Leaning on ice
The cold splattering of frozen thought
A stalemate between longevity and infrequency
To seize the day or to cease today
So I carry on an empty load
So I travel light with a full load
So I figure out a new way in
While I try to find a match between me and myself
A competition I seem to lose
Always slow at the start
And to quick to end
So I smoke with the gun
So I fall into endless winter

direct-shuns

The ever adjustable
Loose fitting life
Stealthily enthralling
Angrily enveloping
With always interchangeable
components
Bought and sold..wholesale
Retailers’ welcome
So simple yet

dams

Words
To simple to surmise
To comical to suffice
Short or long
Never a pure thought entailed
Details mere innuendo
A false horn
A failed tone
Variety is the spice
Yet for what dish?

crystal love returned

The suns eye shines through crystal love
Blinding sight and fascinating thought
To the expanse of stupidity
Exploding into billions of reflective loves
Or lusts
A whimsical and flaunting guess
Eyes becoming dazzled by its uncompromising “beauty”
A twist of crystal love and the colors shift
And change
Yet as time passes crystal love fades
And all are eclipsed by the moon

contagious chorus

Heather is like a sparrow in flight
With bright golden wings and a breast of deepest song
You chant a deep melodious peace that stalks my weary ear
Inclining my proud head low
I a wandering minstrel falling far into your glorious voice
Envisioning the salvation your sweet soul offers
With hungry eyes I race for your holy choir
And demand with outstretched hands its play
Forever my own
With a flutter of feathered arms and forsaken melody
She retreats
For I wanted all the worlds chorus and lost so much more
…its soul

contact

Caring, the carnivore of united bliss
Slapping stakes into desert sands
Restrictive lashes to elevate my dryness
How to be both serenity and honesty in hypocrisy?
One reprimands the other
Rattling and resounding anger
Release is the enemy of strength
the loss of the dream
Who am I fooling?
For I love it all

civic service

I’m a little pissed off with the world
Its empty face pock-holed and reaching
Worse than any beggar or borrower.
Such a waste to know… when you cannot.
What are the expectations of the billions who live and will die alone and uncared for?
Their money rotting in denim pits and colliding with stacks of cards from stacks of cards
Are we all so written and so defined in engraved detail and splendid color?
I cannot even begin to recognize any ONE of these THINGS as human
Wandering beasts of prey and always so damn hungry, yet constantly consuming
Like coal trains, errant and out of use, they clog the air with their coughing
Am I broken-like inside and out? Or just enslaved in freedom?
Where are my beliefs in this shit hole of choice? The time machine of truth running awkwardly in and out of empty.
The lie is the faceless friend who holds my hand to dance it all away
I don’t want to swing and spin. I understand the beat only to well
It is the song of the sirens and it has no melody but foot stomping
The circle of people closing in, pushing their friendship on me, as if I could doubt their truth
What peer is this that equates to all things so effectively with the same innocence as birth?
My womb is bleeding with the effort to hold on to this child, to allow it one more day of real
The middle is crooked and the slant hurts my eyes. I can’t seem to adjust to the pressure of the angles
Walking onward only draws them nearer…. and my mind has little room left for violence
How can it all be so all right when I, a reasoned man, find no reason TO reason
I can’t stand to be insane when I feel so well defined. Where is my choice to be? Where is my hopeful?
Filthy dirty just by nearness… and it don’t clean with tide
The waves work their mania, as all good statistics of the machine
I guess I’m figured out!
My secrets are dear abbeys and sold for sex. The violence on the rise…. which I can not understand
How can we fight ourselves when we accepted the courtship of the fair miss, mediocre?
I give no such struggle. Hugging my self to breathlessness while silent vigils of resentment exhale from my escaped self
The blind lead with the consent of the ignorant, into the flame of change, under the eye of instincts
Mans first and last, middle and eternal, constant circle of regrettable self sucking lust
Each man a woman and all things to each other, and one and the same, and shut your mouth!
Where am I in this? I gave in! I quit and yet its still here… it won’t go!
Quit me mind!

chaos math

Tired lives role on
Synchronized swimming
An escape from religions
A battle, a war for piece
Redefining commonsense
Contaminating the water
Dis-easing our children’s children
One hand on the plug
One on the gun
…I take my laps

bound

How much before the spill
Nearly topped off with inquiry
This delving into the dug up
Resurrecting another for death
Rewriting, refining the scraps
The bodies are multiplying their demands
Accosting and causing this surge
Splurging with the profits
Choking on the frothing bubbles
Welling out and bursting over
The collapse seems necessary
There is too much of US in me

boulders

The final affront
The first confrontation
A wild discovery,
A child’s masturbation
A dream of sorts
Delicate and wet
A young mans future
An old mans pet

born

Cursed morning rise again
Early betrayer of night’s quiet charm
A new day forming from scraps of the sedated past
The sun brighter, charged with sparkling eyes
The trees taller
Reaching the gaze of longing eyes and rambunctious thoughts
The need was not present for this exquisite revelation
The cloth crumples on the red carpet
Flashing the real
Envy need not approach the redness of tainted dreams
Sleepless in awe we engage the true
Requesting reminders
A signature to close the contract
Or initiate the shifting flow
A new day has bloomed
To be released yet again
The grasp on its neck
Held by the clutches of human

bondage

Loving you with hands bound
Stagnant with putrid dryness
A lipless mute unsavory staleness claiming my throne
I the jester masked with kingly garb
Dancing around my anguished mind
Tied with desire to a complicated lever and pulley soul
Slightly slovenly throwing knives to cut my bonds
Balancing on marbles I falter
Beckoning in my charming garb for reality
“Where shall I stand?”
To kiss or not to kiss, that is the reflection!
The stained, steamed, spidering glass of what is happening
I long for the love
I refrain
I pray for release
I remain

black out

I toast to fools and drunks
A merry life though short
I boast of jewels and might
And fine ladies to court
Yet never shall I die a sadder night
Then ten and five past midnight
A rope my jury and two legs my killer
A scream of fury and my last breath a blur
For a merry life is the life of fools
A drunk once told me so
Yes I am a fool but never a drunk
After my life did go

birth defect

A lavish sight of beauty most fair
A side effect of parents’ desires
A placid birth of blood and pain
Transmogrified from egg to “chick”
A yoke high in saturated id
Low in ego
The “lite” version of the common face
Yeh, but what a body!

be-ing

Frolicking ideas run free
May the seasons be thy guide
Rest only in eternal dream
For thine own soul is life
Forsake thy dire goals
Arm thyself with treason
Plague thine enemies’ minds
For they are the ideas fore-spoken

bargained with

Today is just another life I lead
Yesterday I was a fool
Today I feel like I should have yesterday
I am at a stage I hope all arrive at
Not a good highlight but a love of death
Fate and me at a compromise
I have given please give to me!
To play the fool for yet another life long day
The blur of life only increasing
Forever shall I die…yet never!!!?
Hell? I wonder
Not as humans wonder
As I a dead symbol ponder
A blotch of mistakes that sees

awe full

I know not what to do
Who I am nor who are you
I listen to hear but the words don’t clear
The haze the maze, the mist and veer
Spires spin, sewers spew
Roads go on long past view
So much attention to this misdirection
Feelings sent end always in the present
Continuous ridiculous the circumstance suspicious
Oh how wonder does wander
slowly at saunter

apart of "something"

Today was just like any “today’s”
Work and the like
Reasoning behind sloth
My fat belly…my home
Work and fools gold for pay
Yeh! I’m workin
I’m damn poor but I am working

a top, the world

I would say bitter
Most call it angry
It’s a ying/yang thing
A matrix, a mandala, a mind
Endless ?????????????’s
Whatever!!!
I will die...
I will continue...
So what!
Not even upset anymore
Happy I guess
Just being something
Just living someone
Just happening somewhat
Half way to the start
To begin again!
It’s a ying/yang thing
...I guess...
Makes me kind of bitter
To think about it

a star

The bent and broken carcasses of Christmas
Trimmed to the bone
And banished
Left lonely
Sad, sorrowful, speechless
To be thrown to the murdering mans machine
To die without dignity
Their words now softly spoken
“ I blessed the banisters, the children clothed me”
“Gifts were given to my anxious arms”
A king is killed
A puppeteer’s playful pawn
Forgotten
till Christmas rise again!

a slur

A mortal sin
A deadly cry
Who said it?
…. And why?
Words spoken in anger
Or within the mind
Simple words
Yet so hard to define
All eyes see so differently
No one sees my heart
What is put together none shall tear apart
Forget…the dry idea
Let words be spoken
Ignorant minds work too
Bobbled objects can be broken
Or held more dear to you