civic service

I’m a little pissed off with the world
Its empty face pock-holed and reaching
Worse than any beggar or borrower.
Such a waste to know… when you cannot.
What are the expectations of the billions who live and will die alone and uncared for?
Their money rotting in denim pits and colliding with stacks of cards from stacks of cards
Are we all so written and so defined in engraved detail and splendid color?
I cannot even begin to recognize any ONE of these THINGS as human
Wandering beasts of prey and always so damn hungry, yet constantly consuming
Like coal trains, errant and out of use, they clog the air with their coughing
Am I broken-like inside and out? Or just enslaved in freedom?
Where are my beliefs in this shit hole of choice? The time machine of truth running awkwardly in and out of empty.
The lie is the faceless friend who holds my hand to dance it all away
I don’t want to swing and spin. I understand the beat only to well
It is the song of the sirens and it has no melody but foot stomping
The circle of people closing in, pushing their friendship on me, as if I could doubt their truth
What peer is this that equates to all things so effectively with the same innocence as birth?
My womb is bleeding with the effort to hold on to this child, to allow it one more day of real
The middle is crooked and the slant hurts my eyes. I can’t seem to adjust to the pressure of the angles
Walking onward only draws them nearer…. and my mind has little room left for violence
How can it all be so all right when I, a reasoned man, find no reason TO reason
I can’t stand to be insane when I feel so well defined. Where is my choice to be? Where is my hopeful?
Filthy dirty just by nearness… and it don’t clean with tide
The waves work their mania, as all good statistics of the machine
I guess I’m figured out!
My secrets are dear abbeys and sold for sex. The violence on the rise…. which I can not understand
How can we fight ourselves when we accepted the courtship of the fair miss, mediocre?
I give no such struggle. Hugging my self to breathlessness while silent vigils of resentment exhale from my escaped self
The blind lead with the consent of the ignorant, into the flame of change, under the eye of instincts
Mans first and last, middle and eternal, constant circle of regrettable self sucking lust
Each man a woman and all things to each other, and one and the same, and shut your mouth!
Where am I in this? I gave in! I quit and yet its still here… it won’t go!
Quit me mind!