in tense

I’m a little pissed off with the world
It’s empty face pock holed and reaching
Worse than any beggar or borrower
A waste to know when one cannot!
What are the expectations of the billions who will live?
Will die alone and uncared for
Their money rotting in denim pits
Colliding with stacks of cards from stacks of cards
Are we all so written and so defined in engraved detail and splendid color?
I cannot even begin to recognize any one of these things as human
Wandering beasts of prey and always so damn hungry
Yet constantly consuming
Like coal trains errant and out of use
They clog the air with their coughing
Am I broken-like inside and out?
Or just enslaved in freedom?
Where are my beliefs in this shit hole of choices?
The time machine of truth running awkwardly
In and out of empty
The lie is my faceless friend who holds my hand
To dance it all away
I don’t want to swing and spin
I understand the beat only too well
It is the song of the sirens and it has no melody
But foot stomping
The circle of people closing in
Pushing their friendship on me
As if I could doubt their truth
What peer is this that equates to all things so effectively?
With the same innocence as birth
My womb is bleeding!
The effort to hold on to this child
To allow it one more day of real
The middle is crooked and the slant hurts my eyes
I can’t seem to adjust to the pressure of the angles
Walking onward only draws them nearer
And my mind has little room left for violence
How can it all be so all right when I a reasoned man
Can find no reason to reason
I can’t stand to be insane when I feel so well defined
Where is my choice to be?
Where is my hopeful?
Filthy dirty just by nearness
And it don’t clean with tide
The waves work their mania
As all good statistics of the machine
I guess I’m figured out
My secrets are dear abbeys and sold for sex
The violence on the rise of which I cannot understand
How can we fight ourselves when we accepted the courtship of the fair miss mediocre?
I give no such struggle
Hugging myself to breathlessness
While silent vigils of resentment exhale from my escaped self
The blind lead with the consent of the ignorant
Into the flame of change
Under the eye of instincts
Mans first and last and middle and eternal
Constant circle of regrettable self-sucking lust
Each mans a woman and all things to each other
And one and the same and shut your mouth!!
Where am I in this!!!!!!?
I gave in
I quit
And yet its still here
It won’t go
Quit me mind!!!!!!!!